WWW.RLFANS.COM • View topic - OT - have a laugh
Re: OT - have a laugh Sat Oct 05, 2019 8:47 pm  

Godiswithers wrote:
Godiswithers Stevo's Armpit

Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 11:00 am
Posts: 53
Two fish in a tank
One says to the other


How do you drive this thing
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:32 am  

User avatarPumpetypump wrote:
Pumpetypump User avatar
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2002 12:55 pm
Posts: 7394
Location: LS9

Peter starts his new job at the London Zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, Peter beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased; he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, Peter is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, Peter says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

Peter moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, 'What's the food like here?'

The lion replies,

'Absolutely brilliant!..... Today we had fish, chimps & mushy bees.'
Re: OT - have a laugh Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:48 am  

User avatarPumpetypump wrote:
Pumpetypump User avatar
100% League Network
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2002 12:55 pm
Posts: 7394
Location: LS9

Why shouldn’t you wear Ukrainian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fall out.
Re: OT - have a laugh Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:43 pm  

User avatarWillzay wrote:
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Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:58 pm
Posts: 10266
Mamma Mia: classic ABBA song or a Yorkshire kid telling his mum he's arrived?
Profit over Lives - The Tory way
Re: OT - have a laugh Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:48 pm  

grifter wrote:
grifter Eddie Hemmings's Wig
Eddie Hemmings's Wig

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:00 pm
Posts: 115
my dog died in the washing machine today, i dont feel too bad knowing he died in comfort.
Re: OT - have a laugh Mon Oct 14, 2019 7:14 am  

User avatarWillzay wrote:
Willzay User avatar
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Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:58 pm
Posts: 10266
Bloke from Barnsley with a sore arseh0le asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar5e cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"
Profit over Lives - The Tory way
Re: OT - have a laugh Mon Oct 14, 2019 6:22 pm  

User avatarBulls4 wrote:
Bulls4 User avatar
Cheeky half-back
Cheeky half-back

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:23 pm
Posts: 545
Location: 7th
Great additions those! Made me laugh at least. Let’s try to get this thread as long as the other more depressing ones please
Re: OT - have a laugh Mon Oct 14, 2019 6:24 pm  

User avatarEwwenorfolk wrote:
Ewwenorfolk User avatar
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:42 pm
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I like jokes about eyes.

The cornea the better.
Re: OT - have a laugh Mon Oct 14, 2019 6:31 pm  

roger daly wrote:
roger daly Bronze RLFANS Member
Bronze RLFANS Member

Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:02 pm
Posts: 3534
I entered an erection competition last week.

I got to the semi
Re: OT - have a laugh Mon Oct 14, 2019 6:32 pm  

User avatarBulls4 wrote:
Bulls4 User avatar
Cheeky half-back
Cheeky half-back

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:23 pm
Posts: 545
Location: 7th
I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg.

I thought: ‘This could be interesting
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