Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:01 pm  

Meh. How many excuses is that now? You're just a lazy bone idle count. Your captain should have words.

If you had one of course ...

[Pumpetypump]

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:07 am  

I presume Debaser would have told us by now if he can't do prose on an Ipad?

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:11 am  

Oh, he's working on a much more ingenious excuse than that. I'm thinking of making Excuses Why I Can't Do That a separate comedy category next year.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:17 pm  

You can't rush genius.

No point in having a deadline and then getting it done early.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:09 pm  

I have composed a poem.
It is entitled:

The figtrees in the Alameda gardens


Bradford Bulls, stampeding onwards
Towering Odsal Stadium, their home, as wide as
Nigel Wood's underpants yet beautiful like
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, whoever she may be.


at once fragile, like a paper aeroplane,
dogging, swooping and soaring skywards,
they undertake a transformation, by an invisible hand,
as two doors open, one more closes
once a temple to chicken madras,
now led by the king, Robbie Paul,
no room for satanic rites, or ventriloquism,
just the periodic table of emotion and existentialism
like a Narwhal resting


on HB pencils.


I thank you.

Goodnight.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:44 pm  

f*** me what have i been missing as I've slaved away on the 2015 squad stats...

The unbearable lightness of bulling.

several likes all around.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:10 am  

That just has to go down as one of the all-time similes. You could only get this on RAB

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:11 pm  

Something I knocked together at morning prayers.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, and the Word was dogging. He was in the beginning with Cheryl. All things were made through her, and without her was not anything made that was a transformation. In her was a Narwhal and HB pencils. The light shines in the Nigel Wood's underpants , and the chicken madras has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from Cheryl, whose name was Robbie Paul. He came as a witness in a paper aeroplane, to bear witness about the satanic rites at Odsal Stadium, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world through two doors. He was in the figtrees in the Alameda gardens, and the world was made through an invisible hand, yet the world did not know him. He came to Bradford Bulls, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become a ventriloquist, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of the periodic table,

And the Word became existentialism.

The End.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Fri Oct 10, 2014 5:06 pm  

This is emotional.

Re: The RAB Factor 2 : Fri Oct 10, 2014 5:40 pm  

I know. It's my poem. I'm not surprised it makes you cry.